Jan 20, 2011

How I Broke the Walmart Cashier's Heart

It was just a normal day at Walmart.
I walked up to the register, the cashier checked out my stuff and dumped it in the bag.
"$3.21," she said, rather bored, or so it seemed.
I glanced at my friend who had been shopping with me, and smiled a secret smile as I handed over two $2 dollar bills. Yes, my friends. I had gotten my hands on more of the rare $2 bills at de bank. (You should get some sometime. Just ask to trade in for some twos. Almost any bank has 'em!)
The cashier took the bills. She ran her thumb over them for a split second, the only inclination that she had noticed anything out of the ordinary.
She finished, printed my receipt and handed it to me.
And then she turned and bellowed "LARRY!"
I must have looked at her strangely, because when she caught my eye she attempted a nonchalant smile.
Then my friend put her stuff up on the counter while the aforementioned "LARRY!" made his way thither.
The cashier looked at my friend and stuttered, "I don't usually get two dollar bills, I mean wait, *glances over shoulder* yeah, two dollar bills. I've been here four months and ..."
[Larry walks up and looks inquiringly] "Oh, Larry, I uh, don't know which slot to put these in ..." *Waves bills around, looking slightly embarrassed*.
[Larry raises eyebrows] "Um, you put them under that tray. That it?" *Starts laughing good-naturedly, teases the cashier and walks away*

Mom: Inna! You used a two dollar bill!? You confused the poor cashier! *Mock shock* You ruined her whole evening!
Cashier: Oh, yes, yes you did. *Using playful drama to cover up the embarrassed fidgits* You broke my heart.
Me: I'm sorry! *Puppy eyes*
Mom: But at least you livened up her evening!

Mission accomplished!

And that is the tale of how I broke the Walmart cashier's heart. I do so love livening up bored people. And using two dollar bills is a great way to do so. :)
The. End.


  1. *laughs* that's one of the best stories ever! ;)

  2. Ah. Got it. Your new favorite activity is breaking hearts for an entertaining evening? No, wait. It's entertaining people by breaking their hearts! No...*Scratches head* I don't think it's very nice to break hearts though! I...but...Uh...I'm confused! *Sobs*

  3. That is hilarious. I've used two dollar bills several times, but only because my Grandpa thinks they're "magic." It's hard for me to let him know that they are not, in fact, worth more than $2. I just don't want to break his heart. That, and I have to agree, the cashiers are sometimes priceless in their reactions.

    Following you because you have "being sarcastic" in your interests.


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